croutonochrist (croutonochrist) wrote,

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Why the Ryman Auditorium should not serve gallons of beer

So, you may be wondering "Hai Crouton, how was that Kings of Leon show?"


It was fucking awesome, that's what it was! Some notes:

-I realized at around Bristol VA/TN that I had forgotten my camera. Leading me to scream out "MOTHER OF FUCK!" and nearly swerve into oncoming traffic. My friend/travel companion also forgot hers. Without photographic evidence, I'm pretty sure that means none of this trip actually took place.

-There was rain predicted for pretty much the exact area we would be driving. But thankfully, meteorologists are lying bastards and it was nothing but blue skies the entire way.

-We ate at IHOP because it's one of our group's weird road trip superstitions, like holding hands when we cross state lines. We feel like if we don't, we're going to be struck by lightning or eaten by a shark or something.

-I nerded out and stopped in Greeneville TN because that was one of Stillwater's tour stops in Almost Famous.

-We found out that between Knoxville and Nashville is a black abyss of absolutely nothing. Or as my friend put it: "There ain't shit!".

-Except for a quaint litttle spot just outside Nashville called Mt. Juliet, which I also stopped at because I "had to pee". In reality, it's because it's KOL's hometown.

-Nashville is bea-utiful, especially when the sun's setting. We got completely lost and ended up wandering around downtown looking for the auditorium. We finally stumbled upon it completely by accident. Good times.

-The Ryman was so much smaller than the website let on. We were in row T on the main floor and figured we'd be really far back, but that wasn't the case at all. I actually got to see the bands life-sized. The seats were like church pews too, which was cool.

-The show itself was one of the best I'd ever been to. I knew I had to see the Kings play a hometown show, and I was not let down. Manchester Orchestra and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club opened. Manchester Orchestra was alright. They sounded great, but all their songs kind of sounded the same to me. BRMC came out and tore shit UP. They were fucking amazing.

-I sat around and watched the roadies set up between bands, mostly because I wanted to see Nacho. Nacho is the Kings cousin and roadie. He's pretty much more famous than the band. I was kind of more excited to see him than the actual band members. I fangirled a little bit when he came out. He was so cute and squirmy and slightly awkward. Some old drunk guy a couple rows away would yell "NACHOOOOOOOO!" whenever he came out. I guess they knew each other? Christ, I hope so. PS- I swear he totally looked right at me once(HAI BB!).

-Right before the Kings came out, I warned my friend "O hai, when they come out I might get so excited I start shaking like a chihuahua and pissing uncontrollably. It's totally cool though." But they came out and fucking killed it(and my pants remained dry). We all stood up and danced and sang our hearts out. Some people even stood up in their seats(I was too afraid). Every song got a big reaction, but the faster more 'rock out with your cock out' songs and the older tunes got the biggest ones. Something about "Black Thumbnail" causes your body to freak the fuck out. Idk what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's been scientifically proven. I was totally transfixed by Caleb the entire time. He didn't seem real. Well, none of them seemed real. But it just seemed extra bizarre to see him in person. His singing gave me chillies down my back. It was so good, and he got so into it. That boy sings from the tippy tips of his toes.

-They played their set and came back for an encore after the audience nearly caused a riot. I was sad at first that they hadn't played "Charmer", because I wanted to hear those screams, baby! But they played it during the encore and it was AWESOME. How he hits that "WAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOW!" repeatedly every night is inhuman. But I nearly shit myself every time he did it. They played "Knocked Up" and we started singing for them. The "wo oh oh oh oh" towards the end. It made Jared smile, which caused girls to squeal(totally not me btw). We just kept singing it and they just kept playing. I think the song went on for 10 minutes. It was one of my favorite concert memories ever and the reason I go to these things. Sigh, magic. PS- They played "Trani"! WIN OF THE CENTURY.

-The entire night I saw nearly everyone walking around with GIGANTIC cups of beer. I mean, they were almost gallon sized cups. Well, I later saw the results of the gallon beer. A trashed guy and girl were right in front of us and I wanted them to die. They were shouting, smacking each other's asses, giving their friends high fives, and generally being annoying and douche-y. His giant drunk douche head kept getting in my way too. AOHGOENG42628!!!

-The rest of the crowd was exactly the way I expected. Shaggy haired boys in tight pants and moody girls in leggings who thought they were better than you. In fact, we had two such girls sitting right beside us who did nothing but text their friends and take pictures of themselves during the show. I also wanted them to die. I hate girls like that at concerts! You don't give a shit about the band. You think they're hot and you want to be seen. Bitches.

-After the show I bought a t-shirt and tried to make my way out of the storming herd of people. Only to look outside and realize it was pouring down rain. FUN! We decided to make a run for it and sprinted back to the parking garage. That was the coldest rain I have ever felt in my life. What sucks more is that because it was raining we figured our chances of actually meeting anyone were slim. We didn't have cameras either. All I had was my phone, and that took two horrible pictures during their set. Shucks. Next time, dudes, next time.

PS- Caleb, plz grow your hair back out pronto. KTHNX.

Because this:

Every time. Sry2say.
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