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The Bear Jew sleeps with his pillow under his bat [entries|friends|calendar]

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OMG I HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE [14 Mar 2009|10:46am]

Mah boo is officially off the market, y'all. Sigh.

But srsly, I give it 6 months.
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Just one more because after that epic win, it has to be said: [06 Nov 2008|03:23pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]

Fuck yeah.

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BARACK THE VOTE Y'ALL! [03 Nov 2008|11:13pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

Don't forget to vote tomorrow, lovelies!


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OMG U GUISE I'M ANTI-LADY! [08 Aug 2008|03:33am]
[ mood | bored ]


Apparently my preference for ~male companionship~ is deeply rooted in self loathing, insecurity, and sexism. DID YOU KNOW THAT? Now you do.

Advice puppy has advice:

3 comments|post comment

Do you like my scars? [19 Jul 2008|03:03am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]


So, was the ~GREATEST MOVIE EVAR~ worth it? Let me be the judge.

You complete meCollapse )

10 comments|post comment

I need to B my L on someone's Ts [25 Apr 2008|02:03pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So, was it any good? Was the Segel peen any good?

On to the review, loveliesCollapse )

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OMFG A NEW POST.........THAT'S NOT JUNO RELATED! [19 Mar 2008|03:39pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

I realized earlier that I've had my head too far up MySpace's ass and have been neglecting my little ol' ElJay. I've been keeping up with all mah bbs on here though. So I thought I'd share some goodies found during my travels through teh internet wilderness.

Happy New Year America by Sir Ryan Adams


^Found on mah bbs daddy's LJ community. It was on his YouTube, but Nervous Nelly took it down. It's a few months old, but goddamn, it brings joy.

Also, can you guess who these presh bbs grew up to be?

^If you spend any amount of time on ONTD, or recognize that awesome unibrow, you can. He even has the same haircut now 20 years later.

3 comments|post comment

Another Juno post bbs! [15 Jan 2008|12:32pm]
[ mood | surprised ]

Thundercats are GOOOOOOO!Collapse )

2 comments|post comment

Lulz, I'm on the internets on Christmas [25 Dec 2007|11:56pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

So, I'm totally scared to see Juno you guys.

But why Crouton, why?!

Follow the cut bbs. I'm rather long windedCollapse )

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You know what? FUCK KATHERINE HEIGL! [03 Dec 2007|01:56pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I really liked you in Knocked Up. So much so that I could ignore all the stupid shit that came out of your mouth, like saying you cried during Borat. But now you're bad mouthing the one movie that made you what you are? BITCH PLZ!

I'm fully aware there are plenty of sex comedies out there that are sexist and portray women as nagging shrews or sluts, but Knocked Up is not one of them. Showing that women too have flaws IS NOT SEXIST. The only character who was even a shrew was Debbie. And just because one woman in one movie was a cunt does not mean Judd Apatow is a sexist bastard that just wants to make women look bad.

And remember, the men were not exactly portrayed as saints either. Sure, they were given redeeming qualities, but everyone was. Even Debbie. That's what I liked about Knocked Up: It didn't blame one person for the failure of a relationship. It showed that both the man and the woman have some stake in it. It was realistic. So SIT DOWN HO!

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LEGENDARY POAST! [25 Nov 2007|03:16pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Okay, it's not about him, but he got your attention, didn't he?

Follow me bbs...Collapse )

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Why the Ryman Auditorium should not serve gallons of beer [19 Oct 2007|11:27pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

So, you may be wondering "Hai Crouton, how was that Kings of Leon show?"


Well, since you askedCollapse )

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CHEER UP BBS! [16 Oct 2007|12:13am]
[ mood | content ]

Everybody seems so down lately. Even mah LJ ladies. So to cheer everybody up, I present a picgasm which will surely cure your blues.

Greatest. Picture. Ever.

Oh but wait, there's even more....Collapse )

9 comments|post comment

O hai Kings of Leon! [22 Sep 2007|09:42pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Guess who's coming to see you in Nashville on October 18th? If you guessed me, then you are correct, good sirs!

That's right ladies and germs, I shall be attending their show at the Ryman Auditorium with Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and Manchester Orchestra.


PS- If I get to meet Caleb I will use the opportunity to smack him in the face for cutting his hair. That little shit.

4 comments|post comment

It's catch up time! [09 Sep 2007|01:00pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I've been a big bag of fail when it comes to posting on here and commenting on everybody else's goings on. For that, I apologize. Also: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MS. SHERMAN! YAY!

So anyway. I figured out my Halloween costume for this year:

For two reasons: 1)I love the movie 2)I realized I have pretty much the entire costume already in my closet. I just need to curl my hair and slap on some red lipstick.

Good/Bad? Yes/No? What about you ladies? Who/what are you going to be?

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So I finally saw: [03 Sep 2007|09:07pm]

I have to admit that even though it was written and directed by my bb Cameron Crowe, I didn't have very high expectations(which is why I waited so long to see it). Only because I had heard it was bad. Really bad. It also stars quite a few people I dislike. But goddammit, I really liked it. I actually found Orlando Bloom charming and likeable. Me. Orlando Bloom. I know, I know. Insanity. Kirsten Dunst was really cute too, even though her Southern accent dropped in and out throughout the entire movie.

While a majority of the reviews are right, the plot is unfocused and the whole movie just sort of meanders along in no real direction, there are plenty of moments that really got to me. I don't know what it is, but Cameron Crowe gets me. He just knows exactly what it takes to get me all sentimental and nostalgic. Even in his ~lesser works~ like this one.

Marry me, plz.

PS- The soundtrack kicks ass btw. But who wasn't expecting that?
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Guess what I saw this weekend? [20 Aug 2007|03:45pm]
[ mood | content ]

Cracked. My. Shit. Up.

Spoilerz behind the cut!Collapse )

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I want to post something. [29 Jul 2007|06:29am]
[ mood | confused ]

So here it is...

- I'm up at 6:30 AM. Why? Idk. I can't sleep. I had the strangest night. I was driving to Target at about 9 last night and I had the weirdest thing happen. My right arm went kind of tingly and numb, my head started hurting, my heart was beating really fast, my vision went kind of tunnel-y, I couldn't breathe very well. IT WAS FUCKED UP. I have never had something like that happen before. I srsly thought I was having a heart attack or dying or something. Which doesn't make sense because I'm in perfectly good health. Maybe it was a panic atttack? Idk, I've never had one of those either. And I don't know what I would be panicking about. But it scared the shit out of me. Even weirder, I drove back home and threw up for an hour straight. Now I feel normal again. WTF was that?

I'm rly paranoid about shit like this. I probably just have a bug or something, but I'm always "OMFGZ! BRAIN CANCER!"

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I have a question. [23 Jul 2007|09:33pm]
[ mood | weird ]

On a scale of 1 to 1000, just how awkward would it be for me to walk into a crusty 7-11 and buy a Playboy?

I swear I don't want to look at boobies(okay, just a little). But oooh grrrrrl look who's going to be in it:

He's dressed up like Steve Martin and everything. HALP!

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I feel so ashamed. [12 Jul 2007|06:06pm]
[ mood | happy ]

With all the posts on ONTD, I've found myself falling in love with the Harry Potter kids. And it freaks me the fuck out. I really, really, really strongly dislike the entire Harry Potter franchise. Now this doesn't mean I'm inclined to hate the actors or anything. They're just kids. But it feels weird because they seem so much younger than me. Even though I know they're not. But they're so damn cute and British I want to punch something.

I think I'm pretty much madly in love with Rupert. DanRad's got the great taste in music, but I can't get enough of Rupert's adorkable teenage boy awkwardness. Besides, his name is Rupert AND he's a cute little ginger.

He's legal, right? :/

10 comments|post comment

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